#14 Pesach Thoughts

There are two nice ideas that I’d like to share in connection to Pesach.

1. Bnei Yisroel worked so hard in Mitzrayim for so many years. They felt stuck, & started despairing if they would ever get out & be free. But when Hashem decided it was the right time, then right away, without delay, they were freed. Hashem didn’t make them wait even for an extra minute. He calculated exactly how much they needed to go through, & when the time came, they were freed immediately.

The same idea can be applied to every single in shidduchim. Sometimes, we feel so stuck by our circumstances and wonder, “Will it ever happen?” But we need to know and remember that just like Hashem took Bnei Yisroel out in Mitzrayim thousands of years ago, Hashem will iyH take each one of us out of our personal "mitzrayim." When the time comes, Hashem won’t make us wait for even an extra second! It will happen right away.

We mention many times in davening different references to Yitzias Mitzrayim to be reminded that just like Hashem brought that wonderous salvation then, He still brings miraculous salvations now.

Which brings me to my next concept. When Bnei Yisroel reached the Yom Suf and saw the raging sea before them, & the Mitzriyim chasing after them, they felt utterly trapped, stuck, and hopeless. They thought it was all over. But then Hashem performed an open miracle, and the Yam Suf split.

We all know that Shidduchim is, as the pasuk says, as difficult as kriyas Yam Suf. And sometimes we feel really stuck, trapped, with nowhere to go. We don’t see a way out. But we should just remember that no matter how bleak our situation is right now, in a flash, Hashem will split the sea and save us. No matter what a person’s circumstances are, Hashem is above them!

I heard an amazing story by Rabbi David Ashear, which illustrates this point.

Rabbi Bentzion Feldman zt"l told a story that took place in the Volozhiner yeshiva many years ago.

One of the best boys in the yeshiva got married and moved away, but shortly afterward, he got divorced. He came back to his hometown of Volozhin, & went back to learning in the Volozhiner Yeshiva. One day, one of the greatest gedolim of the generation came to the Yeshiva to find a shidduch for his daughter. His plan was to speak to the roshei yeshiva and see who they recommended. When he arrived at the yeshiva at night, the candelabras from the yeshiva had all gone out, something which had never happened before. The oil that was used to light up the bais medrash was used up, and the new delivery wasn’t due to arrive until the next day. Hundreds of boys were sitting in the bais medrash in the dark, learning by heart. Obviously, the gadol wouldn’t be able to speak to the roshei yeshiva since no one could find anyone there.

This gadol decided to sit down and learn by himself. While he was learning, he overheard a boy next to him reciting gemara by heart, word for word, line by line, page after page, without missing anything. This boy was asking strong questions and answering them. It was clear that he was an outstanding talmid. The gadol needed to hear no more; he wanted this boy for his daughter! He went over to him and asked, “Are you single?” When the boy replied yes, the gadol told him who he was and asked if he wanted to marry his daughter. The boy was thrilled beyond belief and immediately accepted the offer, and they shook hands on it. The wedding was held, and this gadol’s daughter helped elevate this boy to become one of the gedolei hador himself!

This boy was none other than the boy who was divorced.

Later on, when this man would relate the story of how he got married, he would marvel at the hashgacha pratis involved in making it happen. “If my father-in-law would have spoken to the rosh yeshiva or would have known I was divorced,” he said, “he would not have given me a chance! Hashem made the lights in the bais medrash go out at the exact time my future father-in-law arrived, something that had never happened before and never happened again, and Hashem sat him down right next to me so he would overhear me learning. The normal way of asking someone if they’re married in Hebrew is to say, are you a bachur or are you nasuy (married)? If he had asked me the question in that way, I would not have been able to say I’m a bachur because I was once married. I would’ve had to say that I’m divorced. But out of the ordinary, he didn’t ask it like that! He asked me, am I panuy, which simply means am I single, and I said yes, I am. Hashem also gave my father-in-law the ratzon to finalize the shidduch right then and there!”

Let's think for a minute about how this boy must have felt at the time of that divorce. He probably felt like his life was over, & probably despaired about how he would get married, etc. And look how Hashem pulled the strings to make this shidduch happen! This boy ended up becoming the gadol hador’s son-in-law!

We should never despair, no matter how stuck we feel! With Hashem, the possibilities are endless!