#18- "Yankel! Push the Boulder!" A Personal Story.

The following story took place about a year ago. Although it will sound unbelievable, every single word is true. While I don't generally share very personal stories, this one has a beautiful, important lesson, so I’m sharing it. (Interestingly, although it involves Rabbi Wallerstein ZT’’L, I was planning from a few weeks back to send out this story today; it has nothing to do with his recent petirah.) May all inspiration gleaned be a zechus for an aliyas neshama for Zecharia Shimon Hakohen, ben R' Yitzchok.

Here's my story. All of my high school friends are married with kids B"H. Right after Pesach last year, the last few high school classmates whom I’m friendly with got engaged. One particular day shortly after Pesach, my energy was dipping, & I felt all alone. My single status was really getting to me. “Hashem,” I said, “I give up! I can’t take this anymore! I’m the only one left now. It’s just too much for me! I give up this fight! That’s all!"

And then I thought & said the following. “Hashem, give me a sign that you’re here with me & know what I’m going through.”

I then got this urge to listen to one of Rabbi Wallerstein’s speeches, as he was one of my favorite speakers. For some reason, instead of going to TorahAnytimes website & listening from there (which is what I usually would do,) I decided to use their call-in number. With the call-in number, once you select a speaker, the system automatically plays the speaker's most recent recording. You can’t select a topic.

I pressed number one to listen to shiurim from Rabbi Wallerstein, and the following speech went on.

"There is a farmer named Yankel, and in front of his house is this huge 25-ton boulder. One day, Yankel is walking out to his field when he hears a voice from Shamayim. “Yankel! Yankel!” “Is that you Hashem?” “Yes!” “Wow! What can I do for you?” “Yankel! For the next half hour, I want you to push that boulder in front of your house as hard as you can.” “Yes, Hashem, of course! I’ll do that!”

Yankel goes to the boulder; he’s a pretty strong guy, & starts to push & push. Of course, he can’t move the boulder; it’s twenty-five tons! After half an hour, he says, “Was that good, Hashem?” “Perfect! Go to work.” Yankel goes to work.

The next day, Yankel walks outside & again, he hears a voice from Shamayim. “Yankel! Yankel!” “Is that you, Hashem? “Yup!” “What can I do for you?” “Yankel, you know that boulder in front of your house? For the next half hour, I want you to push it like you never pushed anything in your life.”

Half an hour he’s pushing, his back is hurting, his veins are poppin’ out of his forehead; Yankel’s pushing! Of course, the boulder doesn’t move; it’s 25 tons! This goes on for a year.

One day, Yankel goes outside & this time, there’s this black, mean-looking, brooding angel standing near the boulder. The angel turns to Yankel & says, “Yankel! You know who I am?” “Well,” replies Yankel, “You look pretty mean! I’m guessing you must be the Satan, the devil, the mekatreg.” “Yup! I am the devil!” “What can I do for you?” “Let me tell you something. People think I’m a really bad guy. I am a bad guy! But, I’ve got a little bit of a heart. Have you ever wondered why Hashem tells you to push the boulder every day?” “No,” replies Yankel. “ Did you move the boulder this year?” “No.” “Well, I’m gonna tell you something you don’t know. All of us angels came to Hashem & told Him that we work 24/7, & we need a break every day. It’s too much! So Hashem said, ‘Okay, I’ll give you half an hour every day for comic relief.’

Yankel! You, my friend, are our comic relief! When we watch you, you fool, pushing a boulder that won’t move, we sit in shamayim & laugh our wings off! You’re ridiculous!”

“Are you telling me,” says Yankel sadly, “That Hashem is using me for comic relief, & all the angels in shamayim are sitting & laughing at me?” “Yup! That's exactly what I'm saying.”

Yankel is very upset & hurt, very hurt! The next day, he comes outside & hears a voice, “Yankel! “Yeah, what?” “Yankel! You know who you’re talking to?” Yeah, I know who I’m talking to; Hashem making a fool out of me every day, using me as comic relief! Satan told me what’s going on. You know that I can’t move a 25-ton boulder! Why are you doing this to me?!”

And Hashem says, “Wait a second. Did I ever tell you to move the boulder? I never told you to move the boulder! I told you to Push the boulder! Your job, Yankel, is to push the boulder! My job, when I’m ready, is to move that boulder. But you should know that since I’ve created the world, I have never had such a great boulder pusher! You are my #1 boulder pusher!” "Really?” “Never had someone who pushed as hard as you. Your job, Yankel, is to push the boulder, & you’re doing a great job!” “Thank you,” says Yankel, feeling pleased, & he happily goes out to his field. There, standing by the corn, is the angel, the Satan. And Satan looks at Yankel with its fiery eyes & says, “What are you so proud of? Why are you smiling? You’re a fool!”

And Yankel says, “Oh no! Hashem just told me that I’m the best boulder pusher! I’m #1!”

To which Satan responds, “Yankel, you fool! Don’t you understand what Hashem is telling you? You’re the best boulder pusher, doin’ nothin’ guy! Cause you’re pushing & it ain’t moving! So Hashem is probably telling you that you’re the best-doing-nothing guy He’s ever created! I wouldn’t be so happy if I were you!”

Yankel is so confused & mixed up. “Hashem is telling me that I’m the best boulder pusher. The Satan’s saying that I’m the biggest fool! I don’t know?! What am I? You know what?! I’m gonna get drunk; I’m gonna go into town! I can’t deal with this. Best pusher, no pusher! I can’t deal! That’s it! I’m done with this! I’m not pushing no more boulders!”

And he starts making his way into town to get drunk so he won’t have to deal with all this emotional chaos. As he's nearing town, he spots a woman screaming near a wagon. “Help! Help! My husband was changing the wagon wheel & the wagon fell on him!! He’s stuck underneath & suffocating! Please,” she turns to Yankel, “Can you run into town & bring back a bunch of people who can help lift the wagon & save my husband?”

And Yankel sees some feet sticking out from the wagon, & the man is turning purple. Yankel says, “Lady, your husband isn’t make it till I get to town! He’ll be dead! Let me lift the wagon, and you’ll pull your husband out.” And the woman turns to Yankel & says, “Sir, we have 500 pounds of cement in the back of this wagon. No one can lift this wagon. You have to get help!” And Yankel replies, “Lady, by the time I get back, he’ll be dead. Listen to me! I’ll lift the back of the wagon, & when I do that, you pull him out!” She says, “Unless you’re Superman, you can’t lift the back of this wagon!”

Yankel leans down, puts his arms underneath the wagon, & starts to pull up the wagon with the muscles that he built from pushing a boulder that wouldn’t move for a year! All that muscle comes into play! And he lifts the wagon two feet off the ground, & the woman pulls her husband out. Yankel saved his life! The woman turns to Yankel & says, “I don’t know who you are, but you’re my Superman! Wow! Thank you so much!”

And Yankel turns to the lady & says, “Don’t thank me. A year ago, I could not have done this! Your husband would’ve died! Thank a 25-ton boulder that’s in front of my house, which won’t move!”

Rabbi Wallerstein continued, What’s the moral of this story?

In life, many times, we struggle. And we push & we push, & our problems don’t go away, our troubles don’t go away, and Satan says, “What are you doing? You’re a joke! We’re laughing at you! You can’t do anything! Why are you wasting your time?”

And Hashem says, “Don’t give up, don’t lose hope! Keep davening, keep believing in me, keep pushing!” And you say, “Why should I keep pushing? Nothing changed!” Because what Hashem is doing is that He’s building up in you something emotionally called Struggle Muscle. What struggle muscle does for a person is that it gives a person the power to carry others who are also struggling! But if you did not struggle, you would not be able to help them!

So the lesson of this story is, Sometimes the rock aint move; it’s not supposed to! Hashem is saying, “Your job is to daven, to learn, to do mitzvos, to push, and never to give up! My job is that when the time comes, I will move that boulder in your life out of the way! You just push, and if it doesn’t move, don’t worry! When it’s time to move, I’ll move it!

And that gives one the power to go on! Struggle muscle!

Continued Rabbi Wallerstein, We all go through things in life. The best people to help others are the people who went through what others are going through. Don’t give up & listen to the Satan! Keep pushing! And even if the thing that you’re pushing isn’t getting out of the way, at the same time, you’re building within yourself Struggle Muscle. And that will give you the ability to carry others who are going through the same thing as you are.

It's a year later, but I can still feel chills moving up & down my spine as I recall this story. I think the message is quite clear. Hashem is with us & fully understands what we’re going through. All he demands from us is that we push the boulder, not move it! That’s His job!

This story gave me a lot of chizzuk. To take it a step further, it’s actually the backstory to Sparks of Light;) Many months later, when I felt like I could use a support group (if you recall from my welcome letter), I remembered what Rabbi Wallerstein had said about struggle muscle & felt confident to launch my group. After all, the best people to help others are those who are going through the same struggle!

Hashem governs every person’s life with such precise hashgacha pratis. We hear exactly what we’re supposed to hear at the exact time we're supposed to hear it. Sometimes, Hashem is testing us; sometimes, He’s giving us chizzuk, and sometimes, He is giving us opportunities to grab. It is up to us to take the messages and do what we’re supposed to with them.

*If you would like to hear the speech from Rabbi Wallerstein himself: On TorahAnytimes website, go to Speakers, then select Rabbi Wallerstein. Look for the lecture titled “My Favorite Stories to Inspire,” Part 2, dated 3/30/21. It should be on page 4. To listen via the call-in number, call 718-298-2077. Then click 9, & then immediately after 145918# Enjoy!