#35 Checkpoints Part I- Rosh Hashana🍎

Well, Rosh Hashana is coming up, and for many singles, there’s this feeling of, “Here we go again! Another Rosh Hashana, and nothing changed. I’m still single, with no husband and family to daven for!”

And if you’re feeling this way, then you’re in good company! These are very typical normal feelings. Last Rosh Hashana, when we davened in Shul, we all really hoped that a year later we’d be coming to Shul with a ring on our finger and a sheitel on our head, and now a year later, here we are, still stuck at square one.

So today’s topic is checkpoints. Checkpoints; we all have those. For some people, it’s their birthday; for others, it's when the school year draws to a close; for others, it’s YT in general, but I think that one big checkpoint for all singles is Rosh Hashana. So, the checkpoint that I’ll be referring to today is specifically Rosh Hashana, but the concept I’ll be sharing applies to all checkpoints as well.

Rosh Hashana signifies another year gone by, and when we reach Rosh Hashana, we want to look back at the past year and see how we’ve moved on. But if a year went by and nothing seemingly changed, that is very disheartening!

So I’d like to change: A) What we measure checkpoints with, which will thereby B) Change the way we view ourselves when we reach these checkpoints.

See, when we reach these checkpoints in shidduchim, we are looking for external change- Sheitel, ring… and everything that comes along with marriage. Of course, that’s what we all want. At this point in our lives, that is what matters to us.

However, there’s a whole area that we are glossing over, and that is internal change. With Hashem, the externals are not what matters. Hashem looks at how we’ve changed internally, not externally, and He wants us to do the same. Because if each and every one of us take a look inside, there definitely are ways in which we have changed for the better in the past year. We are not the exact same beings that we were a year ago.

And that is where we need to change our perspective.

It’s not all about the outside, and if we reach a checkpoint with no visible change, then “I’m worth nothing.” We need to take a look inside and see how we’ve changed and grown internally in the past year.

Some examples- I’m now more mature/sensitive/caring/real/strong/developed than I was a year ago! My relationship with Hashem is now more real; when I say, "It’s all from Hashem," it’s not just lip service! On a professional level- Do I now know what kind of job I want in life? Am I advancing in my career? Did I learn new skills?

If we change the way we view ourselves when we reach checkpoints, then when we reach them, they won’t be as bitter.

Of course, we all are waiting and hoping to get married; however, the point that I’m trying to bring out is that we shouldn’t measure checkpoints only by external change but by internal change as well.

Check out post #36 for a poem connecting to this topic:)