#37-Hashem, You are the Source! - Rosh Hashana⚖

Last week, we talked about checkpoints. To recap: When we reach checkpoints, we compare ourselves to those around us by focusing on externals. If, on our end, nothing externally has changed, and we are still seemingly in the same place, checkpoints are bitter. If we can reframe checkpoints and focus instead on how we've changed, not externally but internally, checkpoints will provide us with a feeling of accomplishment rather than crushing disappointment. And if we take a look within, we all can find ways in which we’ve grown in the past year.

Now, we’ll move on to the avodah of Rosh Hashana, which is Tefillah. Today, I want to discuss our relationship with Hashem and our approach to tefillah regarding Rosh Hashana.

Every year we daven that this should be the year. And we most definitely should continue doing so. However, how many of us truly believe when we daven for our shidduch that Hashem is the one who will make it happen?

Now, before anyone starts attacking me, let me explain. Of course, we all know that everything is in Hashem’s hands. Of course, we know that Hashem makes shidduchim. However, we sometimes forget that it’s not in our control, and thereby, our behavior may give off the vibes of, “It’s up to me to find my shidduch.” Some examples can be visiting and calling every single shadchan, constantly updating our resume, acting a certain way in public, dressing a certain way, getting a specific job… And only then, if it seems like nothing is happening, then, “Let me daven, 'cause I feel so stuck."

We have an achrayus to do our hishtadlus, and we should do so. However, Hashem shouldn’t be our last resort. We need to do hishtadlus just so that we can feel like we have some sort of control. However, at the end of the day, we need to know and feel like it’s all in Hashem's hands.

I heard a very nice thought by Rabbi Elazar Meisels on TorahAnytime, which connects to this point. On the first day of Rosh Hashana, the Haftorah we read is Tefillas Chana. (In case you don’t remember the story, since school was a while back, here’s a brief recap. I had a hard time remembering some of the details, so I actually opened a Sefer Shmuel to make sure I’m not making any mistakes; you should be proud!!)

There was a man named Elkana who had two wives. One was Chana; the other was Penina. Penina had children; Chana didn’t. Every year, Elkana would travel with his wives and Penina’s children to the Mishkon in Shilo to daven & bring karbonos. And every year, Chana would daven that she be blessed with a child. One year, while Elkana was in Shilo, he noticed that Chana looked down and sad. So he asked her, “Why are you so sad.. am I not better than ten children?” Shortly after Chana heard this, she went to the Mishkon and cried her eyes out, and within that year, she was blessed with a son, who became Shmuel HaNavi. And the question is, what happened specifically that year that she was now blessed with a child? Every year, she would daven to be blessed with a child!

Says the Brisker Rav- This time, Chana came to the Mishkon feeling like, “There is no one else that can help me, other than you, Hashem! I always thought that Elkana was storming the heavens on my behalf, but now he says to me, ‘Why are you so sad, Chana? I’m better than ten kids!’ He already has kids from Penina, so it doesn’t bother him as much! Therefore, I can’t rely on Elkana. There is no one else. Hashem, it’s me and you!”

The difference is that this time, Chana went straight to the source.

And that’s what needs to be different with us as well. Our attitude needs to be one of, “Hashem, It’s only you!” Not that it’s the shadchan and Hashem, put the right idea in their head. No, it’s all up to you, Hashem! When we come to shul with this attitude, our tefillos will be different. Of course, we must put our best foot forward and do the appropriate hishtadlus, but we shouldn’t only turn to Hashem when all else fails. We need to remember that it’s all in the hands of Hashem, always, and He is the one to turn to!

I know that this is a difficult concept to actually put into practice; I myself struggle with this at times. But Hashem cares about effort, not about results. Even if we try and succeed for just a little, we’ll feel good, and He’ll be proud!

Wishing everyone a Kisiva V’chasima Tova, a gut-gebenched yar, and may this year be the year when our tefillos are visibly answered!