#46 A Little Warmth and Light - Chanukah🕎

Winter. For most people, winter symbolizes cold and darkness. You wake up, it's dark. Leave work; it’s dark/getting dark. Comes Chanukah amid the winter and ignites some much-needed light and warmth.

The same thing happens in our own lives. The parsha of shidduchim is replete with challenges. We can feel like all we see is darkness and despair. But sometimes Hashem sends in our direction a little bit of “light” and “warmth” to invigorate us and give us the push to continue.

About a month ago, I experienced a beautiful story that illustrates this point.

I got a yes from a boy; we went out, and there seemed to be potential. However, the following morning, the shadchan called & said that the boy had a nice time but didn’t see it. (All too common scenario; I can see you nodding your head😉) Although I had only gone out with this boy once, I still felt disappointed. Isn’t it protocol to give a second date? How can you know from just one time? And then started the “I should’ve/shouldn’t have” blame game. (I tend to do this a lot, is it just me?)

“I shouldn’t have said XYZ, I shouldn’t have spoken so much, I shouldn’t have made myself sound so deep and smart, I should have gone to bed earlier the night before, I should’ve come more prepared….”

I went to work that day, let’s just say, not in the greatest mood. At the end of the day, when I was leaving work, I received a text from an unfamiliar number. The text went the following, “Hi Shira, it’s Sara Friedman*. How are you? I need your resume. Please send to …” “Who is this?” I thought, puzzled. “I have no idea who this is!” After a few minutes of confusion, I remembered. Mrs. Friedman, a sweet, older woman, and I had been colleagues a couple of years beforehand. While I had enjoyed her company, Mrs. Friedman and I had since left that job. It was several years since we last spoke, so I decided it would be nice to call and catch up.

“Hi, it’s so nice of you to call!” said Mrs. Friedman when I called later that evening. “I’ve been thinking of you. Even though we haven’t worked together in a couple of years, I didn’t forget about you. You made a good impression, and I actually have someone in mind. Can you send me your resume?”

I was flattered:) and thanked Mrs. Friedman for thinking of me. “I’ll send it over soon,” I promised. But Mrs. Friedman wasn’t finished. “You know, shidduchim is very hard. It’s hard when the years go by, and you’re waiting and waiting. Rejections are very hard. But you can’t blame yourself! All you can do is daven! Just daven to Hashem!! I’m sorry, I hope you don’t feel like I’m giving you mussar…” I was literally speechless. I can still feel the goosebumps pop. I reassured Mrs. Friedman that I was not offended in the slightest and actually really appreciated the chizzuk. “You know,” continued Mrs. Friedman, “I feel like singles need to hear this. In school, we hear all about marriage, respecting our husband, Torah, building a family… But what if it doesn’t happen right away? We should be teaching our girls in high school how to make use of their time before they get married, how to stay strong hashkafically, and how to avoid getting depressed.” Mrs. Friedman then shared with me an amazing story from Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein, which I’ll iyH be sharing in my next segment later this week. (It brings out a different point, and I’d like to dedicate it to an entire segment.)

I hung up the phone with the chills, looked up, and said, “Thank you, Hashem, for the chizzuk!” It was unreal. I hadn’t spoken to this lady in a few years. Out of all days, she called me the day I needed it the most. And then she gave me chizzuk, precisely in the area which I needed!!

Sometimes, we feel like everyone has forgotten about us. We may even feel like Hashem did, too. But this story serves as a reminder that He doesn’t forget and never will. And sometimes, He gives us messages as a reminder.

A Freilichen Chanukah to all!