#47- What Are My Tefillos Accomplishing? - Chanukah🕎

Chanukah is a special time for tefillah. Specifically, the first half hour after lighting the menorah is a big eis ratzon. Although ideally, we should sit and daven, for us singles, tefillah can sometimes be challenging. Human nature is that we like to see results for our efforts. And it’s hard to keep asking and begging repeatedly without seeing results. It’s hard to believe that this time, things will be different.

In my last segment, I related the story of Mrs. Friedman,* a former colleague who called and gave me chizzuk exactly when I needed to hear it. Mrs. Friedman* also shared an amazing story that Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein Z” TL originally told. It brings out a very important point regarding tefillah.

“There was a girl who was dating seriously. After a bunch of dates, she was ready to get engaged. Her last date was scheduled for Motzei Yom Kippur. That Yom Kippur, this girl davened away. Motzei Yom Kippur she went out. At the end of the date, she was anxiously awaiting the proposal. Nothing. They got in the car, but still nothing. By then, she was puzzled; she knew that the boy was meant to be proposing. Finally, the boy pulled into the girl's driveway and said, “I just wanted to tell you something.” The girl was euphoric; she was sure it was time! Instead, to her horror, he said, “I thought a lot about this shidduch over Yom Kippur. And, I, um, don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t think it’s going to work.”

From the high of highs to a smack in the face.

The girl got out of the car in a daze, shocked and completely heartbroken. When she got inside, she was a mess. Through her tears, she cried out, “I don’t understand Hashem! I davened so hard over Yom Kippur; things were going so well! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME!?”

Let’s go to shamayim.

This “catch” of a boy, who seemed so amazing on each date, had a massive temper. But on each date, he hid it. However, it would’ve come out after marriage, and this girl would’ve really suffered. For whatever reason, it was nigzar that this girl would marry this boy. But since this girl stood the whole Yom Kippur and cried and davened, Hashem said, “Rip up the gezeira! I’m not letting her marry this guy and then suffer for the rest of her life!” So Hashem put the idea into the boy’s head that this girl was not for him. And so he called off the shidduch. That tefillah on Yom Kippur is what saved this girl. What seemed like the worst scenario was really a blessing in disguise.” This powerful story can give us the strength to daven, even when it is hard. Although it may seem useless to keep davening again and again, we never know which tefillah will be the one to open the door to our salvation. Additionally, even if we don’t see immediate results, each tefillah is stored away; we’ll never know when it’ll be used. This story brings out such a great lesson. God's no is not a rejection; it's a redirection.

Another lesson (though not specifically in connection to tefillah) can be learned from this story. Many times in life, we go through hardships and disappointments. We question why we need to go through them. It’s painful. But we can’t see what is going on “upstairs.” This story provides a new perspective and may reframe the situation a bit. You never know what Hashem is saving you from! Maybe this challenge is, in actuality, saving you from a much greater challenge.

True greatness is not davening when it’s easy. True greatness is when one continues to daven through the pain when they seemingly see nothing.